Table aux Crevés, Le (1952, FRA) 92m. **½ D: Henri Verneuil. Starring Fernandel, Nicolas Amato, Edmond Ardisson, Marcel Charvey, Marthe Marty, Mado Stelli. Odd drama about farmer Fernandel, who one day finds his wife hanging from the ceiling. His lover’s brother goes to jail for having smuggled cigarettes and thinks Fernandel tipped off the police. Despite dramatic plot elements, film also provides comic relief. Interesting, if not entirely successful rural drama, an early one from director Verneuil. The setting is impressively authentic. Based on the novel by Marcel Aymé.

Tag: The Assassination Game (1982, USA) C-90m. ** D: Nick Castle. Starring Robert Carradine, Linda Hamilton, Kristine DeBell, Perry Lang, Michael Winslow, Bruce Abbott. Xander Berkeley, Forest Whitaker. Minor cult item for Gotcha! freaks. A grop of college students take part in assassination game, where the contestants battle each other with plastic toy guns. Only, the dethroned champion has decided to play with real bullets. Meager plot is anything but lively, but Hamilton is a tough, convincing heroine and film has an interesting cast. Also known as EVERYBODY GETS IT IN THE END, and KISS ME, KILL ME.

Tai-Chi (1993, HGK) C-94m. Scope ** D: Yuen Wo-Ping. Starring Jet Li, Michelle Khan, Chin Siu-Hau. Average Hong Kong action that almost qualifies as a slapstick comedy. Two good friends take opposite sides after they have been thrown out of school. The plot is very weak, film is saved by good martial arts sequences. May also be of interest for its two action stars Li (BLACK MASK) and Khan (TOMORROW NEVER DIES). Original title: TAIGIK CHEUNG SAM-FUNG.

Tailor of Panama, The (2001, USA/EIR) C-110m. Scope ** D: John Boorman. Starring Pierce Brosnan, Geoffrey Rush, Jamie Lee Curtis, Leonor Varela, Brendan Gleeson, Harold Pinter, Catherine McCormack, Daniel Radcliffe, Mark Margolis, Jon Polito. Brosnan, who works for the British Secret Service, is relocated to Panama and picks prominent tailor Rush to be his ‘source’. Rush, however, provides only information which can’t get him into hell’s kitchen. How soon will Brosnan realize the tailor’s true nature? Stunningly directed character study goes on and on and on. Like Boorman’s THE GENERAL (1998) this will not appeal to a wide audience, unless you are looking for a strong cast. A very eccentric insider-adaptation of John Le Carré’s novel (he coscripted with Andrew Davies and the director). 

Taiyo no Oki: Horusu no Daiboken (1968, JAP) C-82m. Scope ***½ D: Isao Takahata. Starring (the voices of) Hisako Ôkata, Etsuko Ichihara, Mikijiro Hira, Yukari Asai, Masao Mishima. Remarkable fantasy epic, director Takahata’s first animated feature. In Northern Europe of the Iron Age, a young boy loses his father and is told to go find the rest of his people. On his quest, he faces an evil warlord that people call the devil and his sad sister Hilda. Can the boy re-forge the Sword of the Sun and defeat the villain? Strikingly directed and animated mini-epic that properly exploits the mysticism of the age and comes up with an irresistible tale of bravery and valor. An excellent mystical fantasy adventure. Stands as the first collaboration of the Ghibli founders Takahata and Hayao Miyazaki, who is credited as animator and scene designer. This film is also considered to be the first modern anime. English titles: THE LITTLE NORSE PRINCE, and PRINCE OF THE SUN: THE GREAT ADVENTURE OF HORUS.

Taking Lives (2004, USA/CDN) C-109m. Scope **½ D: D.J. Caruso. Starring Angelina Jolie, Ethan Hawke, Kiefer Sutherland, Gena Rowlands, Olivier Martinez, Tchéky Karyo, Jean-Hugues Anglade. Quite good thriller about FBI profiler Jolie, who travels to Montreal, Canada, to track down a serial killer, who has been active for almost two decades and takes on the identity of every new victim. Hawke is a key witness, Sutherland may be the psycho killer. Interesting cast, quite well-made, but script (based on a novel by Michael Pye) takes a few bizarre turns that take away all credibility. Jolie looks sexy but her performance is cold. Nice score by Philip Glass.

Taking of Pelham One Two Three, The (1974, USA) C-104m. Scope ***½ D: Joseph Sargent. Starring Walter Matthau, Robert Shaw, Martin Balsam, Hector Elizondo, Earl Hindman, James Broderick, Jerry Stiller, Tony Roberts. Terrific thriller about the hijacking of a New York subway train by Shaw and his accomplices, who demand 1 million dollar ransom to be delivered in one hour, or else they will shoot one of their hostages every extra minute! Negotiator Matthau has a tough nut to crack, especially as the hijackers make no concessions. Exceptional thriller hits bull’s-eye after about 40 minutes and maintains a fever pitch until the end. One of the best thrillers of the decade, the 1970s equivalent of SPEED (1994). Screenplay by Peter Stone, based on the novel by John Godey. Good score by David Shire. The villains’ names were adapted by Quentin Tarantino for his RESERVOIR DOGS (1992). Remade for TV in 1998.

Taking the Heat (1993, USA) C-90m. M D: Tom Mankiewicz. Starring Tony Goldwyn, Lynn Whitfield, George Segal, Peter Boyle, Will Patton, Alan Arkin. Unbelievably stupid and contrived action thriller, made for TV, about tough female cop Whitfield, who has to take an eye witness, an arrogant yuppie (Goldwyn), to court. However, some gangsters will do anything to keep them from reaching it alive. What’s more, L.A. is struck by a heatwave. Film suffers from artificial situations and silly dialogues. Goldwyn’s character is offensively idiotic, and it seems incredible how Whitfield’s initial aversion turns into love (then again, in such films the leads always fall in love).

Talented Mr. Ripley, The (1999, USA) C-139m. *** D: Anthony Minghella. Starring Mark Damon, Gwyneth Paltrow, Jude Law, Philip Seymour Hoffman, Jack Davenport, James Rebhorn, Sergio Rubini, Philip Baker Hall, Celia Weston. Fine, elaborate adaptation of Patricia Highsmith’s novel, previously filmed as PLEIN SOLEIL in 1959. Damon plays a young college grad who is hired by Law’s father to find his son in Italy and persuade him to return to the States. However, the young man is enticed by Law and his lover Paltrow’s lifestyle and may want to copy it. Is there a chance of becoming a different person? Well-written (by Minghella), generally well-produced thriller drama keeps interest throughout. Beautifully shot on location in Italy.

Tales From the Darkside: The Movie (1990, USA) C-93m. *½ D: John Harrison. Starring Deborah Harry, Christian Slater, Steve Buscemi, Julianne Moore, William Hickey, Mark Margolis, James Remar, Rae Dawn Chong. Horror anthology CREEPSHOW-style: In the frame narrative a paperboy wants to delay evil Harry’s plan to cook him by telling three horror stories (a la Arabian Nights): In the first, starring Buscemi, Slater and Moore, a mummy comes alive on a college campus, the second deals with a professional hitman whose latest target is a black cat, and the third story is about a gargoyle-monster, who turns a luckless artist into a happy person – at a high price. Stories are rather dumb and film lacks thrills. The first story is originally by Arthur Conan Doyle, for the second episode none other than George Romero adapted a short story by Stephen King. This was the follow-up to a TV series of the mid-1980s. Moore’s second film (following an inauspicious movie debut in SLAUGHTERHOUSE 2).

Tales from the Hood (1995, USA) C-97m. **½ D: Rusty Cundieff. Starring Corbin Bernsen, Rosalind Cash, Rusty Cundieff, David Allen Grier, Anthony Griffith, Wings Hauser, Paula Jai Parker, Clarence Williams III. Four-part horror film in which three hoodlums go to a mortician who promised them drugs. Instead he tells them four eerie stories: The first, about the vengeful ghost of a black politician killed by corrupt cops, is way overdone (it does have an intense performance by Hauser). In the second one a troubled schoolboy is complaining to his teacher about a monster in his room. This one is undermined by a finale that is – again – overdone. The third story features Bernsen as a right-wing politician whose house harbors the souls of murdered slaves in the form of puppets. And the last segment (the best) is about a hoodlum who must undergo a therapy in a secret government lab. Interesting to watch, suspenseful and contains more verve than other anthologies, but all in all just quite good. Cowritten by the director, executive produced by Spike Lee.

Tales That Witness Madness (1973, GBR) C-90m. *½ D: Freddie Francis. Starring Donald Pleasance, Jack Hawkins, Georgia Brown, Suzy Kendall, Joan Collins, Kim Novak. Weak horror tales framed by scientist Pleasance, who attempts to prove that his stories about asylum inmates are true. Neither of the segments chills or thrills, the final episode (featuring a good Kim Novak) is the best but still unintentionally funny. Skip it.

Tango & Cash (1989, USA) C-98m. Scope **½ D: Andrei Konchalovsky, Albert Magnoli. Starring Sylvester Stallone, Kurt Russell, Teri Hatcher, Jack Palance, Brion James, James Hong, Robert Z’Dar, Lewis Arquette, Edward Bunker, Geoffrey Lewis. Okay action movie about unlikely duo of Stallone and Russell, the best crime fighters of the city, who are double-crossed and framed, then have to fight their way out of prison and get their revenge on villain Palance. Artificial plot keeps this movie from soaring. The action is quite good, so is the mood of the stars. Magnoli replaced director Konchalovsky.

Tank Girl (1995, USA) C-104m. Scope ** D: Rachel Talalay. Starring Lori Petty, Ice-T, Naomi Watts, Don Harvey, Jeff Kober, Malcolm McDowell, Iggy Pop, James Hong. Nonsensical but fairly entertaining adaptation of the comic strip by Alan Martin and Jamie Hewlett. Petty plays a punk on post-apocalyptic (waterless) Earth, who gets involved with big Water and Power company leader McDowell. Outrageous, flashy, hip sci-fi comedy becomes ultimately dull after an hour or so. Some good songs by Portishead, Scott Weiland, Björk, Bush. 

Tape (2001, USA) C-87m. **½ D: Richard Linklater. Starring Ethan Hawke, Robert Sean Leonard, Uma Thurman. In an anonymous motel room, Hawke meets former friend Leonard. In their ensuing conversation they learn what both of them have become. Leonard is an up-and-coming filmmaker, Hawke a drifter and drug abuser with a fiendish plan up his sleeve. Chamber drama based on the stage play by Stephen Belber is fascinating to some degree, with good performances, but most of the dialogue (consisting of why/because/if phrases) seems stilted and the point of the whole thing is dubious. A matter of taste, some found this good. Shot on digital video.

Tarantola dal Ventre Nero, La (1971, ITA/FRA) C-98m. ** D: Paolo Cavara. Starring Giancarlo Giannini, Claudine Auger, Barbara Bouchet, Rossella Falk, Silvano Tranquilli, Stefania Sandrelli, Barbara Bach. A killer is on the loose, injecting his victims with a poison that paralyzes them before butchering them. Weary cop Giannini is on the case. Typical giallo has a great title and killing method, but it’s poorly paced and none too interesting. At least there’s a dreamy, unsettling Ennio Morricone score. English title BLACK BELLY OF THE TARANTULA.

Tarantula (1955, USA) 80m. *** D: Jack Arnold. Starring John Agar, Mara Corday, Leo G. Carroll, Nestor Paiva, Clint Eastwood. Exciting B-movie classic about a scientist’s experiments with a growth formula, which leads to the escape of a giant spider (the title creature). It seems the huge monster cannot be stopped. Dramatic, and serious, highly recommended. Cowritten by Arnold. Score by Henry Mancini. Eastwood’s film debut (he plays a jet pilot).

Tara Road (2005, EIR) C-98m. ** D: Gillies MacKinnon. Starring Andie MacDowell, Olivia Williams, Stephen Rea, Brenda Fricker, Jean-Marc Barr, Sarah Bolger, Heike Makatsch. Soap opera from British novelist Maeve Binchy about the fate of two different women: American McDowell has just lost her 15-year-old son in a motorcycle accident, pregnant Irish Williams has just been left by her philandering husband. They decide to swap houses for a while so that they can get away from it all. An okay view, if you like these Rosamunde Pilcher-like stories and can accept all the stereotypes.

Target of an Assassin (1976, SAF) C-105m. **½ D: Peter Collinson. Starring Anthony Quinn, John Phillip Law, Simon Sabela, Marius Weyers, Sandra Prinsloo. Interesting if contrived thriller filmed in South Africa. Quinn is fine as a male nurse, who sees no way out of his problems but to kidnap a patient at his hospital, the president of an African country. Little do they know that there’s an assassin (Law) waiting for an opportunity to kill the politician. Dialogue is at times corny, melodramatic but earnest performances help. Based on the Jon Burmeister novel Running Scared. Also known as AFRICAN RAGE, FATAL ASSASSIN, PORTRAIT OF AN ASSASSIN, THE LONG SHOT, and TIGERS DON’T CRY.

Tarzan (1999, USA) C-88m. *** D: Kevin Lima, Chris Buck. Starring (the voices of) Tony Goldwyn, Minnie Driver, Glenn Close, Rosie O’Donnell, Brian Blessed, Nighel Hawthorne, Lance Henriksen, Wayne Knight. Disney’s interpretation of the famed jungle story by Edgar Rice Burroughs offers few novelties apart from some excellent action animation. The plot includes Tarzan’s upbringing by a family of apes and his discovery by an expedition of British hunters. His love interest Jane and the threat posed by ruthless human predators round off a rather ordinary storyline. Just okay by Disney standards, no match for its dramatically charged predecessor MULAN.

Tarzan’s Three Challenges (1963, USA) C-99m. Scope ** D: Robert Day. Starring Jock Mahoney, Woody Strode, Ricky Der, Tsuruko Kobayashi, Earl Cameron. Jungle adventure, set in Thailand this time, where Tarzan has to protect a young heir to the throne from usurpers. Pretty senseless and rather cheap, film’s best scene is the climactic sword fight. Mahoney is inauspicious in the lead role.

Taste the Blood of Dracula (1970, GBR) C-91m. *½ D: Peter Sasdy. Starring Christopher Lee, Geoffrey Keen, Gwen Watford, Linda Hayden, Peter Sallis, Ralph Bates, Roy Kinnear. Low-point in Hammer’s DRACULA series: Lee has an extended cameo as the Count and story is unimaginative and deadly boring. Three lecherous businessmen resurrect the Prince of Darkness and pay for it later. No better than a typical FRIDAY THE 13^TH clone. The fifth in the series, followed immediately by SCARS OF DRACULA.

Tatoué, Le (1968, FRA/ITA) C-89m. Scope *** D: Denys de la Patellière. Starring Louis de Funès, Jean Gabin. Engagingly performed comedy has arts expert de Funès going to great lengths to get the valuable tattoo on the back of eccentric legionnaire Gabin - who just wants to be left alone. The two stars pull the vehicle off with ease.

Tatsu no ko Tarô (1979, JAP) C-75m. Scope **½ D: Kiriro Uruyama, Peter Fernandez. Starring (the voices of) Junya Kato, Katsuo Kitamura, Sayuri Yoshinaga. Animated feature based on a novel by Miyoko Matsutani. The title character, Taro the Dragon Boy, goes in search of his mother, who has been changed into a dragon. On his way he defeats two demons and helps farmers. Simple animated tale, with roots in Japanese mythology, a bit too hard to access. Worth a look for anime buffs. English title: TARO THE DRAGON BOY.

Taxi Driver (1976, USA) C-113m. ***½ D: Martin Scorsese. Starring Robert De Niro, Jodie Foster, Albert Brooks, Harvey Keitel, Leonard Harris, Peter Boyle, Cybill Shepherd, Martin Scorsese, Joe Spinell, Ralph Singleton. Director Scorsese (MEAN STREETS) celebrates the rhinestone of New York City in this dark, pessimistic, exhilarating psycho drama. De Niro plays the title character, a mentally disturbed Vietnam vet, whose traumatic encounters in the netherworld of prostitution, drugs and violence turn him into a psychopath. Beautiful Shepherd, who is his only link to a sane reality, refuses him, which paves the way for the ultimate tragedy. A matter of taste, but has become a cult film, down-beat, depressing but utterly fascinating. The brutality of the showdown is one of the most shocking bursts of violence in film history. De Niro’s intense performance and Bernard Herrmann’s moody, haunting score (his last) are unforgettable. Major point of criticism is film’s overlength, caused in part by multiple endings (endowing the movie with a questionable moral), which may, however, be a good starting point for discussion. Written by Paul Schrader. Photographed by Michael Chapman. Legend has it that Steven Spielberg was among the editors.

Taxi Mauve, Un (1977, FRA/EIR/ITA) C-120m. **½ D: Yves Boisset. Starring Charlotte Rampling, Philippe Noiret, Peter Ustinov, Agostina Belli, Edward Albert, Fred Astaire, Jack Watson. Very interesting cast saddled with second-rate adaptation of Michel Déon’s novel about group of disparate characters in Irish coastal town. Noiret has come there to hunt and forget, Albert is his American companion, whose sister Rampling’s arrival spices things up. Ustinov as a stubborn Russian and Astaire as physician and driver of the title vehicle also populate this lumbering drama. Beautiful cinematography by Tonino Delli Colli and score by Philippe Sarde provide a dreamy quality. Otherwise this curio is much too vague and talky. Boisset also scripted. English title: THE PURPLE TAXI.

Taxi, Roulotte et Corrida (1958, FRA) 86m. *** D: André Hunebelle. Starring Louis de Funès, Raymond Bussières, Annette Poivre, Guy Bertil, Véra Valmont, Paulette Dubost. Amusing, light-hearted comedy about a French family who go on holiday to Spain (using papa’s taxi and a trailer), and fall prey to some smugglers. Really harmless, almost idyllic, a carefree comedy, with Louis de Funès giving an excellent performance as the bumbling patriarch.

Teacher, The (1974, USA) C-69m. *½ D: Hikmet (=Howard) Avedis. Starring Angel Tompkins, Jay North, Anthony James, Marlene Schmidt. Sloppy C-movie about 18-year-old North, whose friend has a fatal accident while peeping on gorgeous neighbor Tompkins. Later, Tompkins seduced North, for no apparent reason. Pretty lame movie is purported to run 98 minutes in its original version. Beware! Also known as THE SEDUCTRESS.

Tears of the Sun (2003, USA) C-121m. Scope **½ D: Antoine Fuqua. Starring Bruce Willis, Monica Bellucci, Cole Hauser, Eamonn Walker, Johnny Messner, Tom Skerritt. War drama set in Nigeria, Africa, where hardened colonel Willis is assigned to rescue doctor Bellucci, who does her work amidst civil war dangers. When she refuses to leave alone and leave her helpers and friends behind, Willis is faced with a dilemma. Meaningful, slickly made drama whose major mistake is that it neglects the characters and thus does not involve the viewer fully. Sweeping score by Hans Zimmer.

Techo di Cristal, El (1971, SPA) C-92m. *** D: Eloy de la Iglesia. Starring Carmen Sevilla, Dean Selmier, Patty Shepard, Emma Cohen, Hugo Blanco, Javier Campos. Remarkable, partly surreal mystery about two women who are upstairs-downstairs neighbors in an apartment house. During the summer, their husbands travel abroad. Soon Sevilla has reason to believe that the upstairs neighbor’s husband never left… was he murdered? Psycho thriller drama weaves an intruguing puzzle around enigmatic characters and will rivet your attention… despite a relatively slow pace. From the director of LA SEMANA DEL ASESINO (CANNIBAL MAN), who also scripted with Antonio Fos. English title: THE GLASS CEILING.

Telmisseomding (1999, KOR) C-118m. ** D: Chang Yoon-Hyun. Starring Han Suk-kyu, Shim Eun-ha, Jang Hang-Seon, Yum Jung-ah, Yu Jun-Sang. Korean thriller about a weary cop, who takes over the investigation when several corpses turn up, all with missing body parts. It seems the serial killer is creating a human of his own. A young doctor seems to be the first suspect, since she knew all those killed. Fairly atmospheric, with good use of music and songs (Enya, Nick Cave), but film is disastrously paced, with scenes extended for no particular reason. Too bad. English title: TELL ME SOMETHING.

Tempo di Massacro (1966, ITA) C-96m. Scope ** D: Lucio Fulci. Starring Franco Nero, George Hilton, Lyn Shayne, John MacDouglas (=Giuseppe Addobbati), Nino Castelnuovo, Tom Felleghy, John Bartha, Sal Borgese, Romano Puppo. Gunslinger Django (Nero) returns home but finds it considerably changed. A sadistic rancher rules the town. Django’s brother (Hilton) might be of help in breaking his rule. Interesting Lucio Fulci western, with some well-directed scenes, loses its drive early on and becomes a slightly pretentious western drama. Some consider this an official DJANGO (1966) sequel. Produced by Fulci, scripted by Fernando Di Leo. Full Italian title: LE COLT CANTARONO LA MORTE E FU… TEMPO DI MASSACRO. English titles: THE BRUTE AND THE BEAST, COLT CONCERT, MASSACRE TIME.

Temps des Loups, Le (1969, FRA/ITA) C-105m. *** D: Sergio Gobbi. Starring Robert Hossein, Charles Aznavour, Virna Lisi, Marcel Bozzuffi, Albert Minsky, Fred Ulysse. Police detective Aznavour is after elusive criminal Hossein, who calls himself Dillinger (after Al Capone’s notorious companion). The two of them know each other from school. Tough, violent thriller shows more character depth than usual, but overall, film is dramatically flawed, with the flashback sequences not as they should be. What makes the film worth watching in the end is Hossein’s excellent portrayal of the cold-blooded criminal, who sees his life as a cul-de-sac. English titles: TIME OF THE WOLVES and THE HEIST, the latter version running 85/92m.

Temps du Loup, Le (2003, FRA/AUT/GER) C-114m. Scope ** D : Michael Haneke. Starring Isabelle Huppert, Béatrice Dalle, Patrice Chéreau, Rona Hartner, Maurice Bénichou, Olivier Gourmet. Apocalyptic drama set somewhere in rural France, where an unidentified global(?) disaster has led to social collapse. Huppert’s family must try to survive. Unfortunately, Haneke again proves himself to be a passive filmmaker that, like in the disastrous FUNNY GAMES (1995), just “shows” without making a comment. Gloomy widescreen cinematography helps. English title: THE TIME OF THE WOLF.

Temptation of a Monk (1993, HGK) C-118m. Scope **½ D: Clara Law. Starring Joan Chen, Michael Lee, Lisa Lu, Zhang Fengyi. Drama with epic dimensions about one of the emperor’s bodyguards, who is double-crossed and blamed for his master’s death in a hinterhalt. Film follows his flight to a monastery, where he is forced to live by a monk’s code of ethics. Drama is more slowly paced that fascinating and remains too unfocused, with unsuccessful comic relief. Still, this is interesting and elevated by fine cinematography (which is meaningless on a TV screen). Original title YOU SENG.

Tenant, The (1976, USA/FRA) C-125m. **** D: Roman Polanski. Starring Roman Polanski, Isabelle Adjani, Melvyn Douglas, Jo Van Fleet, Shelley Winters, Bernard Fresson, Lila Kedrova, Claude Dauphin, Claude Piéplu, Rufus, Gérard Jugnot, Alain Sarde. Brilliant psycho drama / horror film is the final part in director Polanski’s (inofficial) apartment house trilogy. Urban lost soul Trelkovsky (Polanski himself) rents a Parisian apartment, whose previous tenant has jumped out of the window. Slowly paranoia creeps up on the shy man, as the landlord (Douglas), the concierge (Winters), and virtually all the neighbors are obviously trying to drive him insane. Subtly frightening masterpiece is no less fascinating than Polanski’s REPULSION (1965) or ROSEMARY’S BABY (1968), which also dealt with apartment house horrors. Low-key but chilling, simply a must. Superbly mounted script written by Polanski and Gérard Brach, based on the novella by Roland Topor. Striking cinematography by Sven Nykvist, eerie score by Philippe Sarde. French title: LE LOCATAIRE.

Ten Commandments, The (1956, USA) C-220m. ***½ D: Cecil B. DeMille. Starring Charlton Heston, Yul Brynner, Anne Baxter, Edward G. Robinson, Yvonne De Carlo, Debra Paget, John Derek, Cedric Hardwicke, Nina Foch, Martha Scott, Judith Anderson, Vincent Price, John Carradine, Fraser C. Heston, Woody Strode, Richard Farnsworth, Gordon Mitchell, Robert Vaughn, narrated by Cecil B. DeMille. Sumptuous biblical epic chronicles the life of Moses (Heston), from his abandonment at birth and discovery by Egyptian princess to his upbringing as Egyptian Prince and subsequent downfall. Of course, he would return to lead the Hebrews out of Egypt. Occasionally corny, but Heston and Brynner are good, story is well-told throughout. Contains some of the most famous (Oscar-winning) special effects ever filmed. Director DeMille’s last film (he had filmed the story before in 1923). Score by Elmer Bernstein. Filmed in 1.85:1 VistaVision, the 1989 re-release was expanded to a 2.20:1 widescreen format.

Tenebrae (1982, ITA) C-96m. Scope *** D: Dario Argento. Starring Anthony Franciosa, John Saxon, Daria Nicolodi, Giuliano Gemma, Mirella D’Angelo, John Steiner. After SUSPIRIA and INFERNO, Argento’s return to the thriller-genre features immaculate camerawork by Luciano Tovoli and memorable murder set-pieces, if not a memorable plot. Writer Franciosa, advertising his latest mystery novel in Rome, receives death threats by a traumatized, black-gloved killer who is hacking up women. Police inspector Gemma is at a loss, and the writer is forced to investigate on his own behalf to clear himself of suspicion. Has little continuity, like most Argento films, but manages to arrest and thrill the audience with elaborate camerawork and murder scenes that had then become the trademark of any Argento chiller. Note: This is not the conclusion of the ‘Three Mothers’-trilogy, as the title had some believe. Uncut print runs 100m. Written by the director. English title: UNSANE, also known as TENEBRE.

Tenkû no Shiro Rapyuta (1986, JAP) C-125m. ***½ D: Hayao Miyazaki. Starring (the voices of) Mayumi Tanaka, Keiko Yokozawa, Kotoe Hatsui, Minori Terada. Awe-inspiring animated extravaganza from Japanese master Miyazaki. A young girl who possesses a magical crystal is pursued by sky pirates and the army. She enters the life of an orphaned boy, who helps her find a magical island in the sky, whose existence his father was trying to prove. Film creates a wondrous universe of places and characters and fills you with awe and wonder, taking you on a roller-coaster ride like no other movie of this kind. Its astounding action sequences put most real action movies to shame! Some consider this to be Miyazaki’s masterpiece. Great score by Joe Hisaishi. English dub voiced by Anna Paquin, Mark Hamill among others. English titles: LAPUTA – CASTLE IN THE SKY, and LAPUTA: THE FLYING ISLAND.

Ten Little Indians (1965, GBR) B&W-90m. **½ D: George Pollock. Starring Hugh O’Brian, Shirley Eaton, Fabian, Leo Genn, Stanley Holloway, Wilfrid Hyde-White, Daliah Lavi, Dennis Price, Marianne Hoppe, Mario Adorf. Another film version of Agatha Christie’s formidable whodunit And Then There Were None. 10 people are trapped in a remote mansion in the Alps, fall prey one by one to killer who is among them. Direction not on top of the material (Pollock had had some Agatha Christie experience though), but still able to capture. Par for the course. That’s Christopher Lee’s voice coming from the speaker. Filmed before as AND THEN THERE WERE NONE (1945), TEN LITTLE INDIANS (1959, for TV). Later remade in 1974 and 1989. There is also a Russian and an Indian version of the story.

Tentacoli (1977, ITA/USA) C-102m. Scope M D: Oliver Hellman (=Ovidio G. Assonitis). Starring John Huston, Shelley Winters, Bo Hopkins, Henry Fonda, Delia Boccardo, Cesare Danova, Alan Boyd, Claude Akins. Horrible horror a la JAWS about a giant octopus that is terrorizing a sea-side resort. Very poorly constructed, an embarrassment for Huston, Winters and Fonda (their roles are small, though). English title: TENTACLES.

10 Things I Hate About You (1999, USA) C-97m. ** D: Gil Junger. Starring Heath Ledger, Julia Stiles, Joseph Gordon-Levitt, Larisa Oleynik, David Krumholtz. Beautiful teenager Stiles can only go out on a date if her sister does so, but nobody seems to want to ask the unfriendly girl out. Until one boy agrees to seduce her – for $500. Predictable teen fare is quite funny but a notch below SHE’S ALL THAT, its rival at the box-office that year. Very loosely based on Shakespeare’s The Taming of the Shrew.

Terminal Man, The (1974, USA) C-104m. *** D: Mike Hodges. Starring George Segal, Joan Hackett, Richard A. Dysart, Donald Moffat, Michael C. Gwynne, William Hansen, Jill Clayburgh, Norman Burton, James (B.) Sikking, Steve Kanaly, Victor Argo. Unusual science-fiction tale originally written by Michael Crichton. Segal plays a computer scientist, whose violent seizures are thought to be the result of a brain damage. A research team around doctor Hackett intend to implant electrodes in his brain, in order to control his seizures better. Intriguing, thoughtful science-fiction is almost ruined by Hodges uninvolving direction and leaden pace. He compensates somewhat with some stylish shots, but story and actor Segal are the real stars here. A possible cult favorite in years to come. Hodges (PULP) also scripted. Good use of music by Johann Sebastian Bach.

Terminator 2: Judgment Day (1991, USA) C-137m. Scope *** D: James Cameron. Starring Arnold Schwarzenegger, Linda Hamilton, Edward Furlong, Robert Patrick, Joe Morton, Earl Boen, Xander Berkeley. Sequel to the 1984 hit THE TERMINATOR cannot match the film’s originality, but tops it in terms of effects. Hamilton’s nemesis from the first film returns after some ten years – not to destroy her, but to protect her from ultra-sophisticated android designed to kill her son and pave the way for the domination of the machines thirty years in the future. Big-scale tomfoolery, with some gigantic action set-pieces and startling (Oscar-winning) special effects, which make the film worth watching, though its shortcomings are hard to overlook (awkward comic relief, a much too cocky Furlong, and a sudden voice-over narration by Hamilton, which starts rather late). Cameron coscripted and coproduced this massive box-office success. Score by Brad Fiedel. The awesome liquid metal effects are by Stan Winston. Later released on video and DVD as T2: ULTIMATE EDITION and T2: EXTREME EDITION, which feature almost 20 minutes of deleted scenes.

Terminator 3: Rise of the Machines (2003, USA/GER) C-108m. Scope **½ D: Jonathan Mostow. Starring Arnold Schwarzenegger, Nick Stahl, Claire Danes, Kristanna Loken, David Andrews. Continuation of THE TERMINATOR saga has a dull, often gleefully absurd plot. This time Schwarzenegger must protect the savior of mankind (Stahl, who’s really a slacker) from ultra-vicious terminatrix Loken. There’s not much more to say about the story. Action set-pieces are explosive (the crane scene is a wow) and film is endowed with an interesting twist ending. Otherwise, this is big budget and no brain.

Terms of Endearment (1983, USA) C-132m. ***½ D: James L. Brooks. Starring Shirley MacLaine, Debra Winger, Jack Nicholson, John Lithgow, Jeff Daniels, Lisa Hart Carroll, Danny DeVito. Exceptional family saga about widowed mother MacLaine and her relationship to her grown-up daughter Winger, who both are faced with everyday problems over the years. Refreshing look at the American bourgeois culture, simultaneously humorous and sad. Eloquent, completely believable script by director Brooks (AS GOOD AS IT GETS), who based his first motion picture on Larry McMurtry’s novel. Won Oscars for Best Picture, Director, Screenplay, Actress (MacLaine) and Supporting Actor (Nicholson). Followed by a sequel in 1996, called THE EVENING STAR.

Terra-Cotta Warrior, A (1990, HGK) C-111m. Scope ***½ D: Ching Siu-Tung. Starring Zhang Yimou, Gong Li. Awe-inspiring fantasy epic starring Zhang (director of RAISE THE RED LANTERN, TO LIVE) as warrior who falls in love with the emperor’s concubine. When their affair is discovered she is executed and he is turned into a terra-cotta warrior who has to guard the emperor’s mausoleum in all eternity. 3000 years later, however, in the 1930s, he is accidentally woken up - by the reincarnation of his lover. Superbly made film is staggeringly beautiful in the first half, loses momentum in the mid-section, only to deliver an incredible finale. A rare gem; not to be missed. Original running time: 145m.

Terror (1978, GBR) C-84m. ** D: Norman J. Warren. Starring John Nolan, Carolyn Courage, James Aubrey, Sarah Keller, Trishia Walsh, Glynis Barber. At a film producer’s party an attempted hypnosis has weird effects. It turns out that a witch’s curse will catch up with everybody from that party in the following days. Okay horror pic provides enough gory effects if not much continuity. In second half tries to wreak havoc a la SUSPIRIA (1977), but remains rather unconvincing. Barber’s film debut. STAR WARS’ Chewbacca (Peter Mayhew) can be seen in the role of the mechanic (sans make-up).

Terror Caníbal (1981, SPA/FRA) C-89m. M D: Julio Pérez Tabernero. Starring Burt Altman, Annabelle, Mariam Camacho, Antoine Fontaine. Cheap, incredibly amateurish trash involving some kidnappers, who take refuge in the jungle, only to fall prey to a cannibal tribe. Filmmakers show no expertise whatsoever, this is like watching someone’s home-movies. Even cannibal lovers will be disappointed. English title: CANNIBAL TERROR.

Terrore dei Barbari, Il (1959, ITA/USA) C-82m. Scope ** D: Carlo Campogalliano. Starring Steeve Reeves, Chelo Alonso, Bruce Cabot, Giulia Rubini, Arturo Dominici, Andrea Checchi, Paul Muller. After the two successful HERCULES movies, Reeves simply plays a muscleman here, who tries to help his folks against the brutal rule of the Huns. More carefully plotted than others, but still boring, with only some nice camerawork to recommend it. Co-funded by AIP, when production ran out of money. Edited by Franco Fraticelli. Uncut version runs some 100m. English title: GOLIATH AND THE BARBARIANS.

Terrore nello Spazio (1965, ITA/SPA) C-88m. **½ D: Mario Bava. Starring Barry Sullivan, Norma Bengell, Angel Aranda, Evi Marandi, Ivan Rassimov. When space commander Sullivan receives a call for help from a nearby planet, his ship lands and he and the crew investigate. It turns out that souls of the dead want to possess their bodies. Tacky special effects and slow pace mar this well-directed science-fiction film that also boasts some effective scenes of horror. Photography is incredibly atmospheric. For Bava fans. Based on Renato Pestriniero’s story “One Night of 21 Hours”. Best-known U.S. titles: PLANET OF THE VAMPIRES and DEMON PLANET.

Terrorgang (1980, SPA) C-84m. ** D: Tomàs Aznar. Starring Raquel Ramirez. Action film turns into horror film when a ‘terrorgang’ of five falls prey to the curse of a dying victim. Unconventional plot maintains interest but sadistic scenes are likely to turn conservative viewers off. Still, picture manages to create some suspense, and there are also some eerie sequences in the ruins of an old castle. 

Terror in the Aisles (1984, USA) C-85m. **½ D: Andrew J. Kuehn. Starring Donald Pleasance, Nancy Allen. A compilation of horror film clips (from such classisc as PSYCHO, HALLOWEEN and THE EXORCIST), loosely arranged, held together only by Pleasance and Allen’s narration. Well-edited, even effective in parts, but not very meaningful, critical or intelligent. Still, a must for horror buffs, if only to try and identify the movies featured (only a few titles are mentioned). Interesting trivia note: SUSPIRIA (featured very briefly towards the end) is the only European horror movie in the compilation.

Terror in the Wax Museum (1973, USA) C-93m. *½ D: George Fenady. Starring Ray Milland, Broderick Crawford, Elsa Lanchester, Maurice Evans, Shani Wallis, John Carradine. A murderer is loose in Carradine’s wax museum and the makers of this film tease the audience until the very last second about his identity. Strictly by-the-numbers murder mystery, not a horror film. Unexciting and all in all a big bore.

Terror of Mechagodzilla (1974, JAP) C-83m. Scope M D: Inoshiro Honda. Starring Katsuhiko Sasaki, Akihiko Hirata, Tomoko Ai, Tadao Nakamura. Poor, cheap monster trash from the Japanese Toho studios about revival of Mechagodzilla by aliens who look like humans. The creature battles Godzilla and a Titanosaurus. The special-effects are unconvincing. Sci-fi/fantasy expert Honda’s last film.

Terror of the Tongs (1961, GBR) C-75m. **½ D: Anthony Bushell. Starring Christopher Lee, Geoffrey Toone, Brian Worth, Richard Leech, Burt Kwouk. Interesting B-film from the Hammer studios about secret society in Hong Kong, which is infiltrated by sea captain Toone, whose 16 year-old daughter was killed by them. Pretty fierce little film, with a credible performance by Lee as the evil leader of the sect.

Terza Madre, La (2007, ITA) C-98m. Scope *** D: Dario Argento. Starring Asia Argento, Cristian Solimeno, Adam James, Moran Atias, Valeria Cavalli, Philippe Leroy, Daria Nicolodi, Coralina Cataldi-Tassoni, Udo Kier, Jun Ichikawa. Long-awaited conclusion of cult director Argento’s Three Mothers trilogy following SUSPIRIA (1977) and INFERNO (1980) is a welcome return to supernatural elements for the filmmaker’s fans. A young woman (Argento) is drawn into a witches’ revival when her boyfriend, an archaeologist, is sent an urn with occult objects. A magic tunica inside will resurrect the most powerful witch of them all, Mater Lacrimarum, the Mother of Tears. Rome is plunged into chaos, and the young woman must find ways of escaping the witch’s grasps and putting an end to the terror. Less uncompromisingly stylish than its predecessors, Argento still delivers, with potent gore effects, atmospheric settings and appropriate nods to his own horror classics. Some unnecessary plot elements (the involvement of the police, in fact any element of realism, could have been completely left out) don’t really mar the fun. Great score by Claudio Simonetti (former Goblin member) recalls the brilliant SUSPIRIA soundtrack. Cowritten and coproduced by Dario Argento, whose daughter delivers a convincing lead performance. English title: MOTHER OF TEARS: THE THIRD MOTHER.

Teseo Contro il Minotauro (1961, ITA/FRA) C-96m. Scope *½ D: Silvio Amadio. Starring Bob Mathias, Rosanna Schiaffino, Alberto Lupo, Rik Battaglia, Carlo Tamberlani, Nico Pepe, Susanne Loret. Quite tense, atmospheric and rather violent muscleman epic with a supernatural gimmick: a minotaur. Theseus (or Teseo) fights evil queen, who keeps feeding virgins to a beast living in the sewers of her city. Plot is confusing and unnecessarily complex. This one sounds much more interesting than it plays, and the minotaur appears only at the very end – for three minutes. Alberto de Martino (HORROR) was assistant director, Giorgio Capitani (OGNUNO PER SE) directed the 2nd unit. Osvaldo Civirani made the stills and Carlo Rustichelli did the music. English titles: THE MINOTAUR and WARLORD OF CRETE.

Tesis (1996, SPA) C-123m. ***½ D: Alejandro Amenàbar. Starring Ana Torrent, Fele Martinez, Eduardo Noriega, Miguel Picazo, Javier Elorriaga. Film student Torrent, researching for her thesis on violence in the media, stumbles upon a so-called snuff film, which shows young women being tortured and killed. She begins investigating the case with a fellow student, and they soon find themselves pursued by the killer. Complex, extremely suspenseful thriller packs a wallop thanks to a tight pacing and a heart-pounding score (by first-time director Amenàbar). Eventually let down by some inconsistencies in the plot but the tension it creates makes more than up for it. An intelligent, telling comment on the voyeuristic (and increasingly capitalistic) depiction of violence in the media, and alongside NIGHTWATCH one of the most dazzling films to come out of  Europe in the mid-90s. Lead actress Ana Torrent made her film debut back in 1973 with the highly acclaimed EL ESPIRITU DE LA COLMENA (THE SPIRIT OF THE BEEHIVE).

Tess (1979, FRA/GBR) C-172m. Scope ***½ D: Roman Polanski. Starring Nastassia Kinski, Peter Firth, John Bett, Tom Chadbon, Rosemary Martin, Leigh Lawson, Sylvia Coleridge. Thomas Hardy’s Tess of the D’Urbervilles (1891) is splendidly brought to the screen by producer Claude Berri and director Roman Polanski. The story of naive, melancholy Tess (Kinski) and the men in her life is wonderfully filmed and beautifully photographed. Overlong and slowly paced but the pure beauty of the film overcomes these flaws easily. Oscar-winning cinematography by Geoffrey Unsworth and Ghislain Cloquet. Oscars also awarded for Costume Design (Anthony Powell) and Art Direction. No film caught life in the country better than TESS.

Testa T’Ammazzo, Croce… Sei Morto… Mi Chiamano Alleluja (1971, ITA/SPA) C-96m. Scope *½ D: Anthony Ascott (=Giuliano Carnimeo). Starring George Hilton, Charles Southwood, Agata Flori, Roberto Camardiel, Andrea Bosic, Goffredo Unger. Leaden (in both senses of the word) spaghetti western about gunslinger Hilton and his attempts to get his hands on valuable jewelry also craved by assorted bandits. Plot is extremely weak, you may only find some value in director Carnimeo’s visual experiments. Alternative titles: A FISTFUL OF LEAD, DEEP WEST, GUNS FOR DOLLARS, HEADS I KILL YOU, TAILS YOU’RE DEAD, THEY CALL ME HALLELUJAH.

Testament du Docteur Cordelier, Le (1959, FRA) B&W-95m. *** D: Jean Renoir. Starring Jean-Louis Barrault, Teddy Bilis, Sylviane Margollé, Michel Vitold, Bernard Fresson. To some it may come as a surprise that master director Jean Renoir also tried his hands at horror, but he did: Barrault plays the title character, who delivers a strange testament to his notary-friend Bilis. After his death, the doctor will pass on his wealth to a stranger. The notary is baffled when just this mysterious man is seen attacking people. What is the mystery behind Cordelier? Renoir keeps things a little too scientific and talky, but his film works. An interesting early outing for the post-WW2 European horror film. Renoir himself appears in brief prologue. English titles: THE TESTAMENT OF DOCTOR CORDELIER, EXPERIMENT IN EVIL, THE DOCTOR’S HORRIBLE EXPERIMENT, and strangely also THE HORRIBLE DOCTOR HITCHCOCK, which is also the English title of the Riccardo Freda chiller L’ORRIBILE SEGRETO DEL DR. HITCHCOCK (1962).

Teufel Kam Aus Akasawa, Der (1971, GER/SPA) C-84m. ** D: Jess Franco. Starring Fred Williams, Susann Korda (=Soledad Miranda), Horst Tappert, Ewa Strömberg, Walter Rilla, Paul Müller, Howard Vernon, Jess Franco. Trivial adventure about a mineralogist who goes missing after he has discovered a sort-of radioactive mineral that can turn metal into gold. Several agents are out to investigate. Thriller is trashy but not bad, a nice showcase for stunning Miranda, whose last film this was (she died in a road accident at the age of 27). Allegedly based on a novel by Edgar Wallace. Director Franco, who has a bigger role than usual, also coscripted. English title: THE DEVIL CAME FROM AKASAWA.

Teufelscamp der Verlorenen Frauen (1977, AUT/GER/SPA) C-95m. *½ D: Hubert Frank. Starring Patricia Adriani, Barbara Rey, Brigitte Stein, José Antonio Ceinos, Miguel Angel Godo, Eric Wedekind, Manù. Unbelievable trash production starring sexy Adriani, who survives being pushed off a plane(!) and meets a group of sexually liberated kidnappers(!) hiding on a small island. Don’t ask for more plot details! Despite all of these shortcomings, film is quite handsome and underscored by some nice music. German title means ‘Devil Camp of the Lost Women’, but don’t expect to find any of these! The international title DIRTY JOBS doesn’t make sense either. After seeing this movie you’ll know what ‘trash appeal’ means. Written and edited by director Frank (CATHERINE CHERIE).

Texas Chain Saw Massacre, The (1974, USA) C-84m. **** D: Tobe Hooper. Starring Marilyn Burns, Gunnar Hansen, Edwin Neal, Allen Danzinger, Paul A. Partain, William Vail, narrated by John Larroquette. A horror masterpiece, an early tour-de-force for cowriter-producer-director Tobe Hooper. Five young people (one of them wheelchairbound) take a trip to the country to visit a grandfather’s estate. When they take a seemingly deranged hitchhiker along they are plunged into a nihilistic nightmare. Brilliant score by Hooper, the excellent, claustrophobic direction transfers the anxieties of the protagonists seamlessly to the viewer (especially during the chase sequences). The second half of this film is an unrelenting, shocking descent into terror and horror, capable of immobilizing and hypnotizing the viewer. A must-see for horror film buffs. Try comparing this to SUSPIRIA (as regards score) and NIGHT OF THE LIVING DEAD (as regards plot, technique, realism)! Followed by three inferior sequels. Remade in 2003.

Texas Chainsaw Massacre, The (2003, USA) C-98m. **½ D: Marcus Nispel. Starring Jessica Biel, Jonathan Tucker, Erica Leerhsen, Mike Vogel, Eric Balfour, Andrew Bryniarski, Harry Jay Knowles, narrated by John Larroquette. Remake of the 1974 horror classic treads the same paths and does so quite well. Biel and her friends drive through rural Texas to attend a concert, but when they pick up a disturbed woman on the road who kills herself in their car, a nightmare for them all begins. Quite intense, unsettling and terror-filled like the original movie, it only makes a few detours too many (especially toward the end) and it’s 10 or 15 minutes too long. Everything else is stylishly done (expectedly so, as Nispel is a music video director). For horror fans. Tobe Hooper co-produced. DP Daniel Pearl also photographed the original TCM. Followed by a sequel itself.

Texas Chainsaw Massacre 2, The (1986, USA) C-100m. **½ D: Tobe Hooper. Starring Dennis Hopper, Caroline Williams, Jim Siedow, Bill Moseley, Bill Johnson, Ken Evert, Tobe Hooper. Director Hooper returned to his star-making concept twelve years later, but this movie is a mere caricature of the first film. The family of cannibals is out to kill again, only this time they are recorded by small-time radio journalist Williams. She teams up with vengeful lunatic Hooper, whose son died in the original bloodfest. Succeeds as a terror-movie, but is far less original and suspenseful than its predecessor. Rather illogical, with an absurd sense of humor. That subterranean lab/cave is impressive, though. Tom Savini’s effects are showcased appropriately. Hooper also did the music and coproduced (with Menahem Golan and Yoram Globus). Danny Elfman provided a song. Also available in an 111m. version, which adds some deleted scenes. Followed by LEATHERFACE: TEXAS CHAINSAW MASSACRE III (1990).

Tex Willer e il Signore degli Abissi (1985, ITA) C-94m. *½ D: Duccio Tessari. Starring Giuliano Gemma, William Berger, Carlo Mucari, Isabel Russinova, Aldo Sambrell, Flavio Bucci, Frank Brana. INDIANA JONES-type western adventure about Gemma and Berger, who find out about old Inca curse that mummifies people. Score, photography are quite good, but plotting is terrible. Characters are based on an Italian comic strip. English title: TEX AND THE LORD OF THE DEEP.

Thank You for Smoking (2005, USA) C-92m. Scope *** D: Jason Reitman. Starring Aaron Eckhart, William H. Macy, J.K. Simmons, Robert Duvall, Maria Bello, David Koechner, Katie Holmes, Kim Dickens, Daniel Travis, Cameron Bright, Adam Brody, Rob Lowe, Sam Elliott, Christopher Buckley. Well-made satire on the way big corporations use spin doctors to make the truth seem favorable for their purposes. Film focuses on Eckhart, who is the spokesperson for Big Tabacco. As a lobbyist he must defend the cigarette-industry, while trying to be a good dad for pre-teen Bright, who is just waking up to the world around him. Comedy has some great ideas and performances (Eckhart is perfect in the lead). Based on the novel by Christopher Buckley, adapted by the director.

Tharus, Figlio di Attila (1962, ITA) C-89m. Scope *½ D: Roberto Bianchi Montero. Starring Jerome Courtland, Lisa Gastoni, Mimmo Palmara, Rik van Nutter, Ricardo Montalban. Talky, uninvolving sword-and-sandal film that is like dozens of others. A ruler must defend himself against a horde of huns, who have sent their leader’s son incognito. Very little action. English title: COLUSSUS AND THE HUNS.

Theatre of Blood (1973, GBR) C-104m. *** D: Douglas Hickox. Starring Vincent Price, Diana Rigg, Ian Hendry, Robert Morley. Great latter-day role for Price: As a Shakespearean actor he exacts bloody revenge on his critics, killing them off by recreating famous scenes from the Bard’s plays. Well-directed horror thriller is one of the best genre films of the 1970s but unfortunately becomes more improbable as it goes along.

There's Something About Mary (1998, USA) C-119m. **½ D: Bobby and Peter Farrelly. Starring Cameron Diaz, Matt Dillon, Ben Stiller, Lee Evans, Lin Shaye, Jeffrey Tambor, Markie Post, Keith David. Stiller plays a single who decides that it's time to look for his old high school love (Diaz), because he wants to marry. He hires a private eye (Dillon), but the man falls in love with the girl! Just what is there about Mary? Longish comedy is entertaining enough, with a few laugh-out-loud gags. Diaz is smashingly beautiful in the lead role. A step up for the Farrelly Brothers (DUMB AND DUMBER) but still no classic.

There Was a Crooked Man… (1970, USA) C-126m. Scope *** D: Joseph L. Mankiewicz..Starring Kirk Douglas, Henry Fonda, Hume Cronyn, Warren Oates, Burgess Meredith, John Randolph, Lee Grant, Victor French. Ribald western comedy about criminal par excellence Douglas, who finds himself in prison but gets by well, thanks to his wits, but all this changes when Fonda becomes the new warden. Stars are in fine form in this solid piece of entertainment. Written by David Newman and Robert Benton. Photographed by Harry Stradling Jr.

There Was a Little Girl (1981, USA) C-92m. Scope ** D: Ovidio G. Assonitis. Starring Trish Everly, Michael MacRae, Dennis Robertson, Morgan Hart. Violent horror thriller about speech therapist Everly, whose twin sister, hideous in appearance and quite demented, has escaped from the hospital to terrorize her. Pretty illogical, but at least it creates some slight suspense. Makes reference to vintage horror movies like Brian De Palma’s SISTERS (1973), Tobe Hooper’s TEXAS CHAIN SAW MASSACRE (1974) and Dario Argento’s SUSPIRIA (1977). Assonitis (CHI SEI?) coscripted and produced. Score by Riz Ortolani. Also known as MADHOUSE, FLESH AND THE BEAST, and AND WHEN SHE WAS MAD.

They (2002, USA) C-89m. Scope **½ D: Robert Harmon, Rick Bota. Starring Laura Regan, Marc Blucas, Ethan Embry, Dagmara Dominczyk, Jon Abrahams. Fairly good mystery horror about psychology student Regan, who is contacted by a childhood friend who tells her that their ‘night terrors’ have come back to kill them. And indeed, a creature, only afraid of the light, is starting to haunt them. Two alternate endings exist. “Presented” by Wes Craven.

They Live (1988, USA) C-93m. Scope ** D: John Carpenter. Starring Roddy Piper, Keith David, Meg Foster, George ‘Buck’ Flower, Peter Jason, Larry J. Franco. Low-brow sci-fi actioner with an intriguing premise. Drifter Piper (of WWF fame) finds sunshades and realizes that they show people’s real nature. Most of the population are actually aliens from Deep Space! Solidly filmed but after premise has been established (after 40 minutes!), film really goes nowhere. For fans. Carpenter wrote the screenplay (using a pseudonym), based on Ray Nelson’s short story ‘Eight O’Clock in the Morning’.

They Shoot Horses, Don’t They? (1969, USA) C-121m. Scope ***½ D: Sidney Pollack. Starring Jane Fonda, Michael Sarrazin, Susannah York, Gig Young, Red Buttons, Bonnie Bedelia, Bruce Dern, Al Lewis. Pessimistic drama portraying the dark side of the American dream, set during the Depression era. Disillusioned Fonda teams up with loser Sarrazin to compete in a grueling dance marathon, whose organizer (Young, in a brilliant, Oscar-winning performance) is only out for money, disregarding that the contestants are human beings. Superb cast makes the most of Horace McCoy’s novel.

Thing Called Love, The (1993, USA) C-116m. ** D: Peter Bogdanovich. Starring River Phoenix, Samantha Mathis, Dermot Mulroney, Sandra Bullock, K.T. Oslin, Anthony Clark. Drama focussing on the lives of several young musicians who try to make it in Nashville. Cast is okay (including River Phoenix, a year before his demise), plot is overlong and clichéd. Nothing outstanding, basically a film to fall asleep.

Things Are Tough All Over (1982, USA) C-90m. Scope **½ D: Thomas K. Avildsen. Starring Cheech Marin, Tommy Chong, Evelyn Guerrero, Ben Powers, John Steadman, George Wallace, Dave Coulier. Arguably the funniest of all the sequels to UP IN SMOKE, the pot-smoking duo Cheech & Chong’s first film. This time the focus is not on drugs (unless you take it for granted that they are permanently stoned anyway). The boys are featured in double roles, as two unemployed idiots and two Arab businessmen-brothers who have a conflict over a car that has to be transported to Las Vegas (money, not hash, is hidden inside). Mostly funny, with some boring stretches towards the end. This was actually Cheech and Chong’s last picture in the UP IN SMOKE series, but more projects followed, where their exploits could be followed in different settings.

Thinner (1996, USA) C-92m. **½ D: Tom Holland. Starring Robert John Burke, Joe Mantegna, Lucinda Jenney, Joy Lenz, Michael Constantine, Sam Freed. Solidly paced adaptation of the novel by  Richard Bachman (alias Stephen King) about obese lawyer (Burke) who is cursed by an old gypsy leader (Constantine) and starts losing weight dramatically. The only way to avert a terrible fate seems to ask the old man to reverse the curse. Second-rate plot keeps film from scoring a better rating. Not very violent, but horror fans should get their dose nevertheless. Stephen King has a cameo.

Thin Red Line, The (1998, USA) C-165m. Scope ***½ D: Terrence Malick. Starring Sean Penn, Adrien Brody, Jim Caviezel, Ben Chaplin, George Clooney, John Cusack, Woody Harrelson, Elias Koteas, Nick Nolte, John C. Reilly, John Travolta. Powerful, moving war drama, writer-director Malick’s first feature film in twenty years. The setting is World War Two, where U.S. soldiers, most of them young and inexperienced, are sent to Gualdalcanal, a small island in the South Pacific, which is held by the Japanese and considered to be the strategic key to the whole area. Deliberately paced film ventures deep into the psyche of various characters as they prepare for combat. Pensive voice-overs philosophize over the harrowing going-ons. John Toll’s exceptional camerawork juxtaposes the untouchable beauty of nature to the unspeakable horrors of war. The two are separated only by a very thin line. Film is at its best when depicting the insanity of killing. After the climax, it continues for several more minutes and unfortunately loses some of its effectiveness. Well-acted by almost the entire cast, with Nolte giving a breathtaking performance as a sergeant determined to attack even if it costs the lives of his men. Be warned: Some of the stars billed have very small roles. Fine score by Hans Zimmer. Malick scripted from James Jones’ novel. This was his third feature film, following BADLANDS (1973), and DAYS OF HEAVEN (1978). THE THIN RED LINE was filmed before in 1964 by Andrew Marton.

Thirst (1979, AUS) C-95m. Scope *** D: Rod Hardy. Starring Chantal Contouri, David Hemmings, Henry Silva. Unusual, strange horror film about a woman who is abducted into a mysterious community, where she is told that she is the last descendant of the legendary Baroness Elizabeth Bathory - and thus a vampire! She puts up resistance as she is conditioned to be a bloodsucker. Well-directed, subtle tale of the unexpected with a good score may be too vague for some viewers, but story remains interesting throughout.

Thirsty Dead, The (1974, USA/FIL) C-88m. ** D: Terry Becker. Starring Jennifer Billingsley, Judith McConnell, John Considine, Tani Guthrie. Several young women are abducted by hooded men and brought to a secret society in the jungle, who created a kind of paradise for themselves. However, they need blood to rejuvenate themselves and throw those sucked dry into subterranean dungeons. Corny horror trash is not bad in the first half (also thanks to an eerie score by Richard LaSalle), but bogs down in the second. Alternative titles: THE BLOOD CULT OF SHANGRI-LA, BLOOD HUNT.

Thirteen (2003, USA/GBR) C-100m. ***½ D: Catherine Hardwicke. Starring Holly Hunter, Evan Rachel Wood, Nikki Reed, Jeremy Sisto, Brady Corbet, Deborah Kara Unger. Remarkably good teenage drama about thirteen-year-old Wood, who gets to know precocious, trailer-trash girl Reed and is introduced in the ‘wanna-be-adult’ world of her friends. Sex, drugs, shopping (and shoplifting) seem to be the only things that count. Wood’s single mother Hunter, trying hard to cope with life herself, realizes the changes in her ‘baby’ too late. Amazingly real, well-acted portrait of a misled teenager, incredibly cowritten by costar Reed. Hardwicke’s direction gives movie an authentic feel. Recommended.

Thirteen Chairs, The (1969, ITA/FRA) C-95m. **½ D: Nicholas Gessner. Starring Vittorio Gassman, Sharon Tate, Orson Welles, Vittorio de Sica, Terry-Thomas, Mylene Demongeot, John Steiner. Barber Gassman inherits thirteen chairs in Britain and immediately sells them in order to buy a return ticket to the States. When he finds out that there’s a fortune hidden in one of them he goes to extremes to get them back. Tate tags along. More turbulent than funny comedy with an interesting cast. Beautiful Sharon Tate, in her last film appearance, steals the film (brief nudity!). She was murdered shortly after the film finished shooting. Italian title: UNA SU 13. Same story filmed many times before (and after).

Thirteen Days (2000, USA) C-145m. *** D: Roger Donaldson. Starring Kevin Costner, Bruce Greenwood, Steven Culp, Dylan Baker, Michael Fairman. Compelling cinematic recreation of the major crisis in 1962 (which lasted 13 days), when U.S. radar discovered Russian missiles on Cuba. Film captures the tension of the situation very well and paints a believable picture of a world on the brink of war. Greenwood (as President Kennedy) and Costner (as his advisor) lead a fine cast. Long but engrossing.

Thir13en Ghosts (2001, USA) C-91m. *½ D: Steve Beck. Starring Tony Shalhoub, Matthew Lillard, Shannon Elizabeth, Rah Digga, Embeth Davidtz, F. Murray Abraham. Modern ghost story, based on the 1960 film by William Castle. Shalboub and his family inherit a most unusually constructed mansion and are soon confronted with an army of ghosts, which the previous owner had locked up there. Serious special-effects orgy is seriously awful in the non-thnk tradition of the Castle-remake HOUSE ON HAUNTED HILL (1999). Just one effect after the other doesn’t make a movie scary! Joel Silver and Robert Zemeckis were among the producers. Actor Shalboub went through a quite different hell in BARTON FINK ten years earlier.

13 Going on 30 (2004, USA) C-98m. **½ D: Gary Winick. Starring Jennifer Garner, Mark Ruffalo, Judy Greer, Andy Serkis, Kathy Baker, Phil Reeves. Quite entertaining body-switch comedy finds an unhappy 13-year-old suddenly in her 30-year-old self (Garner), when she wishes she were older and sexier. She is a successful magazine editor, but has become estranged from her former best friend (Ruffalo). Good story idea (somewhat lifted from BIG), but plot is inconsequential and ending goes too far. Garner is ambitious in her first starring vehicle.

Thirteenth Floor, The (1999, USA/GER) C-100m. Scope *** D: Josef Rusnak. Starring Craig Bierko, Armin Müller-Stahl, Gretchen Mol, Vincent D’Onofrio, Dennis Haysbert. Scientists have created a simulated version of 1937 L.A., where the computer-generated but lifelike inhabitants lead their own lives and have no idea that they are only part of a simulation. When a murder happens, software developer Bierko searches for clues in the artificial world by entering a character’s personality. This is just the beginning of a fascinating story. Science-fiction film noir has a most intriguing theme, and production values, as well as direction and photography, are more than adequate. Sci-fi fans take note! This crossbreed of BLADE RUNNER (1982) and THE MATRIX (1999) is not completely satisfying but basic idea is chilling. Based on the novel Simulacron-3 by Daniel F. Galouye, which was pr